Forward Reflection
I once thought,
someday I’ll outrun this skin.
That someday body love will win.
Dreamed of acceptance,
met with rejection at almost every turn I made.
My tears kept me company through the haze.
I carved through me,
pushed my flesh to the edge.
I found freedom in water,
and eventually this skin.
My curves have grown and sagged some,
but I won’t let shame keep me undone.
For it’s not the tomorrows that should win,
or the somedays.
It’s this ever cycling present moment,
of mindful reflection.
Of a body positive mind,
pushing me in a better direction.
So I put my mirror back on the wall.
I stopped wishing through it,
and learned not to just dream it,
but do it.
To radically accept the person I am now.
In the end, it’s always progression not perfection,
that keeps me moving in a forward direction.
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Jennafur Lee Parks is a thirty-something feminist zinester who graduated with a BA in Sociology and an Individually designed degree in Women’s Studies. Nowadays, she would have asked it to be labeled Gender Studies. Like her zines, Jen’s life has taken momentous journeys and unraveled far more than she ever thought possible when she was a teenager. Jen works in the community as a direct support professional to students with various developmental delays and special needs. She also works with the high-risk population. Jen truly loves her job and plans to get a graduate degree in the near future. Jen currently resides on the seacoast in New Hampshire with her family.
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