Sometimes when I happy get
I turn on my television set
and disappear into its glow
like a pixelated crow
I flap my wings so pure and black
and feel like there’s no going back
inside the tube I’ll stay forever
consider thrown the simulacrum lever
if my mother comes home and turns it off
at her love I’ll scoff
happy on my own terms you see
like a Titleist balanced on a tee
waiting for the coming thwack
to send me into orbit’s knack
for spinning guests in skyward order
free I am a floating boarder
everywhere I go I smile
I see my reflection in bathroom tile
my grin it gleams
with the purity of creams
freshly descended from the cow
of bacon from the virgin sow
who snorts and oinks as I come close
we are friends the farmer knows
and so he waves as I walk by
and disregards his wife’s sad sigh
she resents that I am happy
she thinks my mother should just slap me
but you can’t obsess over what others say
just this morning I flew away
so I’m sure to have some sadness soon
from major to minor will go this tune
the farmer’s wife and my mother agree
that no one should be as glad as me
while the farmer and the virgin pig
think no smile can be too big
a hog with tusks tends to think the same
splashed mud spells his name
on the wall of the spotless barn
to reveal said name would exceed this yarn
suffice it to say it rhymes with ‘sick’
and is a synonym for prick
I hope that makes you laugh
long in your throat like a giraffe
is any bestiary complete
without a mention of the webbed feet
of the platypus
who like one of us
is neither one thing or the other
not wholly dad not wholly mother
it lays its monotremish eggs
and from their schizophrenic dregs
are born new hybrid duck-billed beasts
as sun and moon light up two easts
what if there were no more west
the sun would set inside my chest
between my ribs it would grow red
a fire on a speeding sled
melting the frozen world as it flew
and in my heart darkness would brew
so this is how my happiness runs out
a glowing ale reduced to stout
so thick in your throat
you feel like you swallowed a coat
a trench worn by a private detective
I’ve grown weary introspective
perhaps it’s time to pull the plug
give the tired shoulders a shrug
it’s exhausting to carry a smile around
or at least turn off the TV’s sound
and watch its shining figures mute
as sorrow does vast minions recruit
and watch the weepers shed their drops
and browse the coffins in burial shops
my mother’s making chicken soup
I pray to be left out of the loop
that seems to strangle Pollyanna
and that one day like Indiana
Jones I’ll open the covenant’s ark
and find out why the world began dark
and why God didn’t begin with light
gradually learning to shade his sight
when the blinding things his creations did
made his ego feel that he favored id
I hope one day that God is happy
for making people feel so crappy
if when I’m dead he asks me why
I smiled so much I’ll spit in his eye
and dance my way back down to hell
as demons ring the Liberty Bell
**
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